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Vignettes


September 11th

© Jayni Bloch 14 September 2001

The World Trade Tower is bombed with human sacrifice. Then its twin is struck. Fire and smoke explodes around the places of impact like blood flowing from uncontained wounds. The towers burn and crumble under the weight of harm and destruction.

People jump out of the buildings as if they were popping out of a surprise package, willingly leaping to their death instead of falling into the crush.

How many people’s lives will be sacrificed in the process of this universal message?

The picture unfolding in the live events on the television screen is identical to a symbol I have seen before. The Tower of destruction, card 16, of the Tarot system, comes to mind! This history-changing event is symbolic of a process in evolving human consciousness. It is an announcement from our collective consciousness, our Spirit Self, expressed in this powerful symbol in front of all civilization. A time of change has dawned.

Media connected people around our earth to participate emotionally by witnessing the symbols of Democracy, Freedom, Independence, Capitalism and Trade being destroyed and thousands of unsuspecting people violently violated by death, being fused in the symbol of this defining happening. These people are our own flesh and blood, our own family. They are our brothers and sisters. We are all wounded by this horrifying and shocking event.

I listen to commentary on the media and hear two points of view being expressed that reflect my own inner conflict too. On the one hand there is anger and the need to retaliate in anger. On the other there is a silent compassion, a deep and compelling pain for humanity and a concern for world peace and a need to understand and listen for deeper meaning and healing of wounds that stops the cause for more wounds.

The twin towers reflects us all, proud structures of beliefs and principles America stand for attacked and destroyed. What is the meaning of this? What do we do and how do we understand this happening?

At first it seems like being attacked by a faceless enemy who abused and violated your own systems against our own structures.

Think how the symbology expresses truth in many layers. Towers are forms that symbolize “institutions” that hold certain realities, beliefs and principles in place that allow us to repeat actions predictably. Destruction of form frees us from the known and comfortable in a painful way. When we are stripped of the known we start to think in new ways. We are challenged to transcend our known position in matter and form.

Questions that I ask myself are in what ways are we destroying ourselves unconsciously because of values that has become too rigid and hubris? And in what ways are we not vigilant and assertive enough in protecting what we have built up and achieved? What beliefs and principles are outdated and need upgrading. Have we become too complacent and snug about where we are and need to be shaken to grow more? Does our behavior reflect the Truth of our principles? How does these questions apply to me as an individual and how does it apply to my family and group relationships?

It is remarkable to observe and feel how our human soul digs deep into itself to listen and reach out for Spiritual strength and power when struck by external disaster. Shock wakes us up; connects us to Truth and call us to change our usual ways. This shock forces a complete and sudden change in ourselves and in the world, as we know it. Not only is our external landscape changed forever, but also our attitudes and relationships. Humility and breakdown force a cleaning out of old habits, routine and attitudes. The “form” has been broken and we are forced to change, forced to re-evaluate beliefs that build the physical and mental structures we live by. We are compelled to discover our resilience and strength in unity as people of the earth. We are urged to reach out to each other in Love, beyond the barriers of culture, religion and ideas of separateness and righteousness that we have created.

The sacrifices we make as people when structures crumble are the price we pay for the opportunity to wake up to new understanding of our personal social and collective values and responsibilities. Cleaning up the debris, gives us an opportunity to re-evaluate what belief and value structures we need to discard and what we need to rebuild to serve and protect humanity in new and stronger ways than before. Some aspects of our “structures” are vulnerable and we have to rethink what is feeble about what we are, think and do. We are woken to adjust and grow and draw on inner strengths and values more profound and powerful in core but also learn to protect and assert these values of democracy, freedom and respect for each other in better ways, learning from our mistakes in the past, careful not to repeat destructive patterns of prejudice.

Is it not the very structures that shape our righteousness and exclusion of others that creates and perpetuates the hatred and destruction of humankind? Is it not our very religions that become excuses and vehicles for revenge and anger? How do we assert our principles of humanity respectfully without becoming the very same as what we judge? How do we not use God our Creator as justification for our intolerant heart? Are the “towers” of righteous belief systems limiting true freedom between all people?

This is an opportunity to bring the “protecting-assertive” and the “compassionate” sides together in a cooperative and meaningful partnership reflecting our position of consciousness as human beings in new ways than before. This is our stepping-stone into a new way of being, not only as collective humankind, but also as individuals challenged into consciousness about our contribution to the collective through our everyday attitudes, values and actions.

The parts of the self or groups that stand in conflict with one another are now apparent. Most of us realize the need to address conflicting aspects within ourselves and with each other. Social and collective healing and balance begins with personal work. The need to update our internal values reflected in our personal and social life is imminent right now.

Healing happens when total acceptance is given and taken. Acceptance is a two-way street, given from all the parties in complete sincerity, truth, respect and honor. Healing has no place for righteousness and one-sided judgment. As long as there is bigotry in any form whatsoever there is a need for assertiveness and self-protection and then there cannot be true peace. Humanity is only beginning to understand this. It is a long journey to freedom and peace. Freedom happens when all that exist honor what they identify with and respect the other too. This is after all what democracy is all about isn’t it? I am a student in life and pledge to keep on learning and practice what I have learned with consciousness and the help, grace and guidance from Higher Spirit.

May all people of our earth be blessed and guided to find light and love in themselves and for each other.

With love to you all,

Jayni Bloch.

 

Fear of Heights

There are times when a healing process is a long and slow journey, as John discovered at a mature age after many frustrated attempts during his life trying to get quick answers for his problems. Then ,at times, everything comes together very quickly, like Anne’s story demonstrates. The story of Anne’s fear of heights is an example of a simple and uncomplicated phobia that responded to the use of the right tool in a right moment and with probably the right person.

Fear of Heights. August 2001 © Jayni Bloch (This is a true story written with consent.)

I met Anne (an alias) at a Psychology Conference in Quebec. After a day of lectures and workshops a group of Psychologists decided to explore the Old City. Everyone was having fun in the festive atmosphere. We decided to walk the high walls of the Old City when I noticed sudden stiffness and hesitation in Anne’s movements. She moved as if she was made of stone and started to cling to the railings on the opposite side to the drop. Her anxiety was obvious and I asked if she was OK. She confessed that she suffered from fear of heights ever since she can remember.

I asked her if she had a desire to heal this fear, thinking of this moment as an excellent opportunity to use and test EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Anne wanted healing and explained that her cycling trips often takes her to high places that interfere with pleasurable experiences . I asked her if she was willing to try an exercise that might help her release her fear. When she agreed, I asked the others to continue the walk without us. We would catch up with them later.

Right there on the platform, halfway up the stairs to the top of the Quebec walls, with people passing us, we first established an intensity measurement of the fear. She measured eight on a scale of zero to ten. I then proceeded to model the basic tapping sequence using a very simple setup affirmation that sounded something like: “Even though I have this fear of heights, I love and accept myself completely”

Anne repeated the affirmation tapping on every meridian point. I focused intensely on intent while speaking the words with her and so encouraged her to do the same.

The fear-intensity-measurement dropped to a count of four after one round of tapping. We did a second round of tapping slightly adjusting the words in the affirmation and the measurement dropped to a count of one. We did a third round and it dropped to zero. The complete procedure lasted about ten minutes.

She immediately tested her newfound “freedom” by walking up to the edge of the barriers on the side of the drop without any anxiety or any indication of fear!

We caught up with our colleagues who were complete skeptics, of course. Who in psychology today believes in ten-minute cures?

It was amazing to watch Anne leaning over the edge of an un-barricaded wall without fear as the others tried to test the authenticity of her “healing”.

Two months later Anne emailed me excitedly. She biked over Logan Pass in Montana, describing it as a high winding road with cliff edges many feet down. The route takes you on the edge most of the time. She said she “did the whole thing without one instant of anxiety!!!!”

In Anne’s words: “If you had seen that mountain pass and realized I did it with NO FEAR, you would have just been in wonderment”

“This feels so great, again I must thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me with this. It has opened up a whole new lease on life and let’s me actually look at great scenery that I would have never looked at before because of fear… thanks so much…”

I asked Anne how she did with heights after our experience in Quebec and before the Mountain Pass bike trip. She said: “ I know that there were a few times on bridges while I was walking that I just said those words, even though I am still a little afraid of heights, I love and accept myself and got through it with no fear. But this time I just didn’t even need to use the tapping stuff, just the words, that was it.”

I have found that EFT is a wonderful, cutting edge tool, that integrates work on mind, body and soul levels. If you want to know more about Emotional Freedom Technique, visit Gary Craig's website: http://www.emofree.com

Next time we will talk about the long journey of healing and the many people and ideas along the way that contribute to putting together the pieces needed for completion (this time round).

The skill of an experienced and knowledgeable psychotherapist is about assisting the client in identifying the kind of healing journey they are on at a particular time in life and what kind of "tools" and information they need at that specific time. There are many different aspects and angles to our life journey, that can sometimes be seen as different small adventures that makes the whole one, or contributes to being whole in the end.

 

Darkness turns to Light

© Jayni Bloch June 2001

I have learned that a challenge or conflict in my life usually indicates to me that there is some unconscious part of myself that is asking to be noticed. Some past of me that I do not want to see is trying to get my attention. I now know, that a confrontation with a problem or challenging situation, is an indication to look our for the aspect about myself that I have not yet recognized. The moment I see the truth about this hidden side of me, the dilemma turns into a relief or a kind of light-bulb experience; a positive experience with its own wisdom and understanding about the situation that I usually could not anticipate rationally. Light-bulb experiences are closely linked with insights; that understanding that burst out of the hidden and became conscious; darkness turned into light.

Mythology talks about this process in two examples.

The first is a story of King Eochaid, of Celtic tradition, who had four sons by his queen, Mongfind, and a son by his concubine, Cairenn.

Niall, the son born from Cairenn, and his brothers were tested by King Eochaid to see who were worthy of succeeding him.

The boys were sent to a forest to hunt and fend for themselves. They found themselves without water. Each young man had an opportunity to find water and one by one they failed. Niall went last and found an ugly witch who refused to give access to the water-well she guarded, unless she was kissed. She turned into a beautiful woman, a Goddess, when he embraced her. His father knew at that moment that the courage and humility that made it possible for Niall to embrace the witch for the privilege to get access to water, was the quality in his personality that made him worthy of the throne.

Each son was confronted with a dilemma; embrace the woman who looks like an ugly revolting witch or go without water in thirst. All of them refused to take the risk accept one. Water symbolizes a life-giving source, the spiritual and emotional nurturance and quenching of inner “life”. Water relieves a thrust to feel fulfilled emotionally and spiritually. The woman represents the non-rational, subconscious mind and the feminine aspect of being-ness. This side of our nature usually looks scary and horrible. We usually try to avoid “her’. But once we embrace her, she turns into the most beautiful woman possible (a surprising and unexpected pleasure) and reward us with fulfillment that we could not anticipate; that light-bulb experience.

The second mythological example is that of Innana the queen of Light and her sister Ereshkigal, the Goddess of the underworld. This story precedes Judeo-Christian culture and comes from Sumeria in the Middle East.

The story goes that the people of Uruk, accepted only Inanna’s gifts of agriculture and irrigation, weaving, astronomy and mathematics, because of its beauty and practicality. The people banished Inanna’s sister Ereshkigal, to the underworld, because she represented dark, serious and heavy aspects of life. They captured and killed Ereshkigal’s partner, the Bull of Heaven, who was responsible for the thunderstorms that brought rain to the earth.

Ereshkigal’s cries of pain and anguish reached Inanna who decided to visit her sister in an attempt to make peace with her. The journey into the underworld took Inanna through seven gates before she could reach Ereshkigal’s innermost chamber. At each gate she was expected to sacrifice an aspect of her heavenly attributes until eventually she was naked and vulnerable, striped from her pride. Ereshkigal, enraged by her abandonment, slayed and hung Inanna on a peg in the Underworld.

Ninshubur, Inanna’s trusted companion, became worried about her not returning home. She pleads Inanna’s case at the sacred temples where The God of Wisdom, Enki, creates spirit-helpers from the dirt under his fingernails. These spirits went to the underworld and showed great compassion for Ereshkigal. The compassion softens her heart and she releases Inanna on the condition that there be balance between the living and the dead, the light and the darkness. The sisters are reunited and each accepts the other's attributes.

When I think of times when I ignored or tried to get rid of the dark sides of myself, they became incredibly destructive and painful, operating through conflict that tries to wake my consciousness. My soul confronts me with challenging situations to force me to confronting my shadows. When experiencing difficulties I ask my Higher Self what it is that I need to see. Sometimes it takes time before I became willing to let go of all my “heavenly attributes” and became humble enough to face my darkness. This process of letting go to face the depth of the dark part, feels like passing through gates or stages into an even deeper place, until I come to the essence or core truth of the hidden aspect.

I do not think that it is possible to make peace with my soul or love myself if I am not willing to go all the way, through all the "gates" or obstacles of turmoil to reach the essence of truth. If I turn around at any gate before I reach the very deepest level of "crucifixion", the issue never gets resolved and turn up again and again as a theme in my life until I am willing to do the work of going all the way to the depth.

The place of crucifixion is also the place of truth and rebirth. This is the only place where peace and balance can happen. Compassion makes peace and balance possible, when there is an acceptance that the opposites (polarity) are equal. The one side of the pole is just as important as the other. The one is the seed and potential of the other. Together they create harmony and rhythm that is meaningful and productive. Without the one the other is meaningless.

I experience and find light when I reach that darkest place of truth within myself. This is what the story of Inanna and Ereshkigal reminds me of.

Talking about equality, the Zohar describes the numerical values of the Hebrew words for “light’ and “secret” as symbolically equivalent. (The Zohar is a classic commentary on the Torah and of Jewish mysticism. It is written in Aramaic and is allegedly the teachings of the 2nd century Palestinian Rabbi, Shimon ben Yohai.) Everything was created according to Jewish myth, by the spoken word of God, speaking the sounds of words that have specific combinations of letter values. Similar values meant similar meaning or quality of meaning.

It is interesting that light is associated with illuminating, and secrets with darkness and things being hidden. Yet they are related. Once again we make the fascinating observation that opposites functioning as two parts of the same principle in the same way that the story of Inanna (the Queen of Light) and Ereshkigal (the goddess of Darkness) describes this theory. Therefore, when I find my dark side I find light. Light lies in the secrets of the self and of life. The darkness contains the light and the light darkness. Light is a mystery and mystery light.

I hope these stories inspire you too to make peace with your dark side.

I experienced my dark side speaking through illness, symptoms or conflict with people or situations. The very “thing” that I have a problem with contains the very clue for my healing or solution. This “thing” contains the symbol of the part in me that I need to accept as part of me and not separate from me. Jayni Bloch.

 

Personal Transformation Process

© Jayni Bloch January 2001

Imagine your whole body touching the earth like a snake and you slither over it with great difficulty and effort feeling every grain of sand, every scratch of stone and blade or thorn, piercing your flesh leaving your journey’s mark in detail on your body as you inch towards an unknown destination. This is how every moment of life feels like. You feel your way through darkness. Going through the emotions of each day is as painful and intense as every movement you make with your naked body on the earth. The dread is never-ending.

Then, when the facts and facets of the pain imprinted itself enough times into your being to the point of defeat, something changes.

The moment you surrender and die in acceptance of the unrefined brutal truth, light and life appears to be possible again.

This point of death is felt as a willingness to know reality. Reality is an “underworld” compared to our idealism, but touching the truth liberates us somehow. Our human experience on earth, full of limitations, sensations and realizations is essential for the manifestation of spirit. Spirit is no dream but lies in the veins of realism.

Acceptance of truth, reality as is, can only happen at the “point of no return” in the tedious process after consistent toil and passionate participation in our experience. This point of death opens the heavens, so to speak, so you can see from a different perspective. It is as if your consciousness soars. Your attention is no longer focused on the scratches on your belly but the meaning of your experience in terms of the “big picture”. All the paining details make sense now looking from an eagle’s viewpoint. This point of clarity is the link to meaning, the equinox point where everything comes together and you are aware of your connection to the whole of the universe.

 

A Winter Tale of Love (Christmas Message)

© Jayni Bloch December 2000

The Inner birth of Love, Light (Consciousness), Goodwill and Peace makes it possible to share this among all people when we celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Eid al-Fitr, Yule or Winter Solstice.

December 21 is the start of Winter Solstice, the first day of winter, the day with the longest night and the shortest day of the year.

This is the time of “peak” when we reap the work we have done during the year. The attainment of our spiritual and physical labor, the height of our year’s achievements are acknowledged and shared. The sharing of love, time and wisdom is symbolized in a material gift and offering but can never replace it in value.

It is also the time when the sun has reached its lowest position in its annual cycle through the zodiac, the darkest point of the year that marks the initial stage of a new journey.

Some people experience this time of year as the “Dark night of the soul”, when depression creeps up on us and we notice the imperfections in ourselves and in others. It is at this darkest point when we are born into spirit. This is when we can learn to see in new ways and initiate new goals that begins about a new phase of growth.

The fact that we have to turn inward is difficult to do because it is a lonely process and the personality is conditioned to operate and accept only the external, busy, material world of physical accomplishments. When we allow ourselves to turn inward and allow the soul to ascend and the personality to descend, we learn how to appreciate the true value of the natural process that this time is all about.

In this symbolic time of stillness of night, may you hear your soul’s voice like a clear bright light and know that your journey is just starting a new phase with new awareness.

Celebrate and rejoice the journey of life and death to experience rebirth with more consciousness every year.

May your soul touch Love and Light this season!

 

Belonging

© Jayni Bloch - Feb 2000

I belong everywhere and I belong no-where.

I am rational and honor reason and science. I am intuitive and honor spirituality. Both are gifts of my unfolding human nature.

C G Jung wrote in Psychology and Religion: West and East (C W Vol. 11, Paragraph 659): ‘All opposites are of God, therefore man must bend to this burden; and in doing so he finds that god in his “oppositeness” has taken possession of him, incarnated himself in him. He becomes a vessel filled with divine conflict.’

Translated quote:

All opposites are of the Creator (Mother-Father God), and one feels the burden of polarities but need to accept it as a reality within oneself . In doing so one finds that the Creator is within all oppositeness within oneself and in creation. Therefore every being is filled with divine conflict.

 

The Choices We Have To Make

© Jayni Bloch Sept 2000

The story of Paris in Greek Mythology is a good example of the dilemma of choice.

Paris, the son of Priam and Hecuba lived under the cloud of the prediction that he would be the cause of the downfall of the grand city of Troy. He became a shepherd on the Mount of Ida, far from Troy to prevent this prediction becoming true. At the wedding of Peleus and Thetis , Eris, the goddess of strife, turned up furious because she was not invited. She threw a golden apple inscribed “To the Fairest “, into the middle of the proceedings.

Hera, Athena and Aphrodite claimed the apple and asked Zeus to decide who should receive the apple.

Zeus knew he would get into big trouble with any one of the three was not the chosen one, so he summonsed Paris from Mount Ida to be the Judge. It was very difficult for a mortal like Paris to decide who the fairest was. Each of the three goddesses decided to help him choose by offering him a gift.

Hera, the great matriarch, offered Paris great power by promising him the continent of Asia. Athena, goddess of strategy and wisdom, offered him great luck in battle and great wisdom. Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, offered him a beautiful body and the love of Helen, the most beautiful woman in the world. Paris could not resist Aphrodite's offer. Hera and Athena became revengeful because of this. Helen was already married and when Paris kidnapped her with the help of Aphrodite, the Trojan War started which ended in the predicted tragedy.

How do we choose between Power, Wisdom and Beauty?

How can life be so unfair for us to have to make impossible choices at times?

 

The Voiceless Messages Of Inner Guidance

©Jayni Bloch Sep 2000

Growing emotionally, mentally and spiritually implies a learning process of some kind that helps us to make choices in our lives. In order to do that we sometimes need to be guided by someone who has been through the same processes or at least understand the process.

The guidance, instructions, teachings or information that we need at different times comes as overt or subtle messages. People and what they say or do, situations and coincidences are mechanisms or instruments though which these messages reaches our soul.

The voiceless messages goes beyond the words we hear. The realizations go beyond logic ego or cause and effect.

Hearing the voiceless messages requires skillful, humble, objective, listening; the ability to listen without judgment, interpretation or logical analysis. Learned responses can sometimes interfere with the clarity of the message and might add onto or omit from the essence of the message.

The right solution to a life dilemma during a particular time in one's life can be wrong at another time even in similar circumstances. Different people in the same circumstances and at the same time do not necessarily need the same solutions or message either.

What happens to you in a particular moment in time is uniquely important. Observe and wait for the information to make itself clear to you. When you listen for it, the voiceless message unfolds into the teaching from everything that happens during that time.

That what we need to know to enable us to grow is never static but dynamic and creative. The message unfolds into a unique and personal insight as various pieces of information, feelings and other factors merge into its own form of wisdom.

I believe that when we have experienced this dynamic soundless voice, we have discovered an "inner" teacher. This teacher uses everything that exists as teachers and symbolic indicators, even factors that seems negative in the conventional sense.

What do you think?